Oh boy folks, have I got a doozie of a post for you today. It’s personal and I hope there’s readers who can relate.
My mom was a phenomenal wife and mother. She lived by example when it came to her marriage to my dad. They never let me see them argue or fight and I’ve learned so much from their marriage.
They were married for over 35 years and never divorced although I am aware there was a few days in my childhood I brought them to the edge of it. They remained married and my dad passed from cancer in 2004 and my mother never remarried or dated. I learned a lot from her and implement her lessons into my everyday life.
Please note this list is things I’ve learned that work for me. I’m in no way telling anyone they should or have to implement the list into their relationships.
- Jealousy has no place in a marriage.
- Give your spouse or significant other their own private time/space
- Meet each other halfway when in an argument or debate
- Don’t say “Sorry” unless your really mean it
- Don’t make promises you can’t keep
- Honey To-Do Lists do not work. Talk to your husband verbally, not with notes. Make it personal and work the To-Do list together (who knows how much fun can be had)
- If you ask a question and you know he’s heard you but doesn’t answer… don’t ask again
- Every couple needs some ribbing, mock arguing. Keep it playful
- Don’t cause a fight just to have “Make Up Sex”
- What’s good for the goose is NOT always good for the gander (and vice-versa)
- Share your strengths and weakness to support and strengthen each other
- Never make a big decision (anything that effects the both of you and/or the entire family) alone. Discuss it with your partner first
- Be willing to sacrifice that pair of “To Die For Shoes” for your man to get that one item he’s always wanted and never got because he wanted you happy (and your feet happy)
- If in doubt.. DON’T
- Make a date night (just the two of you)
- Don’t make a big purchase without discussing it first.
- Don’t go to bed angry/fighting
- Be grateful and thankful for everything he does
- Be willing to sacrifice your pride/ego and admit when your wrong
- Give as much as you receive and at times realize and be willing to give more than what you get
- Last but not least… If there’s one thing I have learned is that if you love him, tell him, show him and most of all never let a moment go by without letting him know just how much he means to you.
There are probably a lot more I could add but time is limited today. However using this list daily in my relationship with my husband (even before we were married) has kept us smiling, being playful, helping eachother and communicating. I’m ever thankful and grateful for my mom’s strengths, courage and patience because I know my dad was not an easy man to be married to.. but he did have a heart of gold and showed it to my mother and I every day.